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August 16, 2010 - One Week at Home
Nimueh came home from the hospital on 8/8/2010. I took the next three days off to spend time with the baby. Having a baby in the hospital has been an emotional time for my wife and I since she was born 3/31/2010. However, the distance and the professional care blunted some of the newborn experience for me. Having her home has significantly changed that.
I really love our baby girl. I've been racked with guilt for months at the difficult start she's had in life. It's not our fault -- my wife was very cautious and mindful of the baby's best interests during her months of pregnancy. Nonetheless, her extreme prematurity resulted in months spent in the NICU in an incubator, and she was forced to endured an endless number of daily tiny cuts (they lance her foot to do frequent blood tests) and needles and tubes in her stomach, arms, legs, hands, nose, mouth, throat and lungs. I'm grateful to the doctors for their expertise in bringing our baby to a healthy newborn state, but much of the time it seemed almost like torture. I've intentionally shut down parts of my normal thought process and overlooked a lot of what's happening to keep from feeling the full measure of guilt and failure that I felt I deserved.
Bringing her home and giving her a different experience has provided me with a sense of redemption.
She doesn't have the "very most expensive" of everything an infant needs, but we've definitely splurged for high end baby stuff. We lovingly tend to her needs, and we spend a few hours every day just sitting next to her. I wake up late at night (or early morning) every day to feed her -- Angie does too, we take turns. And even when she's writhing around and screaming the way a baby does when she needs anything, I'm elated to have the opportunity to do these things for her.
She seems to be blissfully unaware of the months of challenges she endured. It has erased most of the self-doubt and self-loathing I've been feeling for months. Now, I'm just happy for myself and proud of her. I'm also proud of my wife. I watch her holding the baby and bouncing and rocking a bit with a big smile on her face, and my whole body seems to puff up with feelings of love for her. It's a depth of feeling that I haven't really indulged for her before.
While I feel like we're finally giving Nimueh the home and life that she deserves, I've had relapses of mourning over our daughter Jesse, who died a year ago. The anniversary of her birth was last Monday (8/9/2010). My wife was very careful throughout that pregnancy, too, but we both feel guilt relating to her death.
Although we're not a religious household, it's been a great comfort to lapse into some spiritualism. My wife and I, in spite of strong (dis)beliefs to contrary thinking in all other circumstances, have taken up the belief that Jesse's spirit is out there somewhere and knows of our love and remembrances and best hopes. We have also slipped into the belief that she has been watching over Nimueh and helping us get through these months.
Our daughter has suggested that Jesse's soul "gave us another chance" and came back as Nimueh. While we think it's very sweet, my wife and I prefer not to think of Nim replacing Jesse, so much as being an individual spirit existing in a happy place.
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Entered: 8/16/2010 4:24:00 PM
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Modified: 8/16/2010 4:53:00 PM
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August 6, 2010 - Why do People Like Apple?
So, my iPhone has developed an issue. It's been a great phone and I've enjoyed it for 8 months. A couple days ago, it suddenly quit holding a charge (and is very warm to the touch -- almost hot -- all the time). An overnight charge lasts about 2 1/2 hours if I don't make any phonecalls, don't text, and don't use any apps. Nothing odd happened to it... I didn't drop it, and it didn't get wet.
Not a big deal; even the best devices have glitches. I go to my IT department, since it's a company phone, and they tell me that I have to go to the Apple store because they can't do any kind of maintenance on an iPhone.
I go to the Apple store and try to talk to the workers there. They patently refuse to acknowledge me for like 15 minutes. This annoys me because, even though the store is full of people, only two of the eight employees are helping someone. I finally confront a guy who's hanging out with a friend, and ask if he can help me with my iPhone. He tells me that they only help people WITH AN APPOINTMENT. A brief conversation reveals that some people in the store have been waiting for over an hour. I'm told -- at 6:30pm -- that their schedule is completely blocked out until the store closes at 9:00pm and that I need to come back tomorrow. Seriously? Most of the employees are socializing with each other.
This isn't even a fucking Queue. If an employee frees up quickly -- which appeared to be the norm -- they don't help anyone out until their next appointment (although one enterprising guy seemed keen to answer a cute teenage girl out of turn). And this is apparently company policy. What a crappy way to run a store.
Thinking back on it, I remember a coworker complaining about something similar months ago -- that he went into an empty store and had to wait 30 minutes for the next appointment.
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Entered: 8/6/2010 8:50:00 PM
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Modified: 8/6/2010 8:50:00 PM
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June 1, 2010 - Playing with Nim
Angie and I went to the NICU on Saturday afternoon to see Nim. Angie normally goes there every day (twice some days), and I go a few times a week. The weekends are special for me, because I get to see Nim during the day. She's usually fast asleep when I go in the evening and she seems to resent any noise or movement I make. Daytime is a different experience entirely.
Ang and I changed her diaper. It was just wet when we changed it, but moving her around stimulated a deluge of... the other stuff. It took a while for her to finish up. and we ended up changing her diaper three times in the hour we were there.
Tomorrow, she'll be 31 weeks gestation (still 2 months before she would "normally" be born). Nim was all smiles and wiggles as Angie and I looked at her and held her hands. She kicked my hands with her tiny feet and wrapped her miniscule digits around the tip of my finger. It was a fun time and we took video of her playing and being our sweet little girl.
She is still on breathing assistance with a tube, but she's down to minimal settings. Since she didn't do well on the CPAP last week, she's going to be on the ventillator for another two weeks.
Nim's weight has been a confusing topic. The numbers have fluctuated wildly this week and we've come to conclusion that it's because of a conversion issue and some mixed up weighing dates. They cited a weight yesterday and then corrected it and the conversion was initially wrong. We "settled" on her weight being at almost exactly 3 pounds (1360 grams). She's 15 1/2 inches long.
The doctors continue to express some consternation at her development. She has a lot of characteristics -- eye tracking being one -- that are out-of-place at this age in her development. It makes my wife and I feel good that she is mentally way ahead of her gestational age.
I discovered that Rovio (the telepresence robot by Wowwee) has an iPhone mode. I was able to keep an eye on our older daughters via robot/ iPhone for the hour that we were at the NICU.
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Entered: 6/1/2010 11:39:00 AM
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Modified: 6/1/2010 11:39:00 AM
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May 16, 2010 - Daughters Meet Nimueh
My older daughters got to see Nimueh today. I didn't hear exactly what was going on, but there was a brief window where they allowed kids into the NICU. It was their first chance to see their baby sister -- almost 7 weeks after she was born. Nimueh was doing good. Her O2 saturation improved when the girls were there (we generally equate positive numbers on the machinery to happiness).
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Entered: 5/16/2010 8:54:00 PM
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Modified: 5/16/2010 8:54:00 PM
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April 12, 2010 - Baby Nimueh
I should have blogged about this as soon as it happened. I posted messages on facebook and myspace, but my personal site got nothing. This is partly because I've been fighting with my server this past couple weeks.
Angie had our daughter, Nimueh Quinn Jacobsen, on 3/31/2010 at ~3:30pm. She was 1 lb, 3 oz (about 550 g), and was 11 1/4 inches long (about 28.5 cm). She is very small because she was born over 17 weeks (4 months!) premature.
We were really afraid when they filled us with worst-case scenarios and a lot of generalized doubt that she was going to survive, but that was 12 days ago, and she's doing very well under Neonatal Intensive Care at the Medical Center of Plano. We have few doubts, at this point, that she'll grow up to be a relatively normal (considering her parents!!!) girl.
Angie delivered via Caesarian section, and has been recovering for almost two weeks. She's starting to get up and about.
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Entered: 4/12/2010 1:47:00 PM
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Modified: 4/12/2010 1:47:00 PM
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April 12, 2010 - FFXIII
I bought FF13 two days ago, but have only had about 45 minutes to play it.
My first impression is one of mild annoyance.
1. What the hell is happening? Okay, my group of people appear to be in a group of refugees who are being exiled from the civilized upper level (a structural shell over the surface of the planet like Star Wars' Corruscant) down to the main planet because my people have been contaminated by some magical being that poses some form of threat to the magical being who created the technological city-shell). WTF.
2. I seem to have made a complete context switch from my first "main character" to another one, and there appears to be no relationship between them.
3. I have some kind of journal or electronic encyclopedia that is automatically updated with story elements -- the only way that you actually learn what's going on. It's kinda lame. Like... I'm walking down a corridor, and then my journal flashes. I read it and they talk about the governing body of Cocoon. It's not very contextual or particularly immersive story-telling.
4. As with previous installments of Final Fantasy, the interface is severely gimped so as to progressively introduce the (relative to other types of games) complicated set of controls. So I can't really do anything, yet. Yay.
5. It appears that there's two types of equipment -- a weapon and an accessory. Potions affect the whole party and you're healed all the way between each battle. I haven't encountered any magic, yet, so my only option is to fight or throw a grenade (I have no grenades in equipment, so it's an arbitrary distinction).
6. The only measure of success in battle is how quickly it's over. It's timed, which determines whether you get good loot or lame loot. (I always get "perfect" 5 stars and still only see potions or unusable drop items like "twisted fang"). You only control one character and you're encouraged to use the "automatic" mode making fights pretty arbitrary.
7. All save points are also stores. You access the potion store initially, with additional stores being accessible by getting some form of upgrades that give you access to them. Kinda like shopping online, I guess, with magical instant deliveries. It seems to eliminate a lot of character interaction.
8. You "overhear stuff" automatically when you get near people, so interaction seems more superficial. It's more like you're eavesdropping than talking to people. There are way too many cut-scenes involved in dialog.
9. All of the monsters I've encountered seem to be some kind of zombie-looking animal cyborgs. Or robots. These have the names of monsters in previous FF installments that looked quite a bit different. I fear that all monsters will look like this.
10. Humans look very realistically human... And most look Asian, kinda androgynous, and about the same age. It makes the game seem pretty bland in spite of the incredible 3D graphics work. Hair is the main distinction. My favorite character was killed off almost immediately. "Moms are tough!"
Well.. that's a lot of impressions from less than an hour of gameplay. I'm going to play more, but I'm not all that compelled.
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Entered: 4/12/2010 3:47:00 PM
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Modified: 4/12/2010 3:47:00 PM
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February 24, 2010 - The Fourth Is Not Strong With This One
I read the following on a website (http://www.notalwaysright.com)
Me: “Thank you for calling the [hotel]. How may I direct your call?” Customer: *in a British accent* “I need a room for tonight.” Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are booked.” Customer: “Why?” Me: “It’s the 4th of July. We’re always booked on the 4th.” Customer: “I know the date! Why are you booked?” Me: “Um, it’s July 4th.” Customer: “Listen, just give me a room!” Me: “I’m sorry sir, we are sold out. The entire town is sold out.” Customer: “The entire town? Why?” Me: “Sir, it’s the 4th of July. Independence day.” Customer: “Independence from what?” Me: “Um, England.” Customer: “Oh bloody h***!” *click*
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Entered: 2/24/2010 5:32:00 PM
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Modified: 2/24/2010 5:32:00 PM
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February 23, 2010 - New Home
Our offer for a new home was accepted today. My wife and I have been discussing our need (or want) for a bigger house and more property for most of our marriage. We finally found a house we like on land we like without a really bad commute.The home is 13 years old (built in 1997) and 3400 sq ft. It has a huge wrap-around porch, and a wrap-around balcony! it's on 6.4 acres of land with access to a 25-acre pond. It already has Verizon Fios (fiber optic internet) installed! The private driveway is 600-feet long; unfortunately, it's a dirt driveway. It has a two-car garage, but plenty of driveway for more cars. it has two living rooms and a dining room -- all three larger than the living room in my current home.
Most of the pictures are from the online real estate ads for the house, so... that's not my furniture. The pictures are: the front-left of the house at a distance, a satellite view of the land, a closer view of the house from the front-left showing off patio and balcony, the driveway, the back of the house (near the garage), the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the master bedroom, the second living room, and another picture (without furniture) of the master bedroom, and the master bathroom.
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Entered: 2/23/2010 5:15:00 PM
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Modified: 2/23/2010 5:25:00 PM
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January 11, 2010 - Computer Fried
My home computer was off when I went to use it Saturday afternoon. When I attempted to boot it, it immediately turned itself off. While tinkering with it, I found that the fan on one of my graphics cards (an NVidia 8600) was totally gummed up (?). I managed to power up the motherboard long enough for it spark up and catch fire. I bought a new power supply, which is the most common hardware failure I experience, but that didn't solve my problem. My other graphics card looks good, and my power supply seemed fine, so I bought another motherboard. I spent an hour or so to disconnect and reconnect everything to the new motherboard, but it still wouldn't boot up. Of the main components that could cause the problem, I could still replace the CPU and memory. Tests with each of the memory modules faired no better, so I went out and bought a new CPU today. That wasn't cheap, as I'm on a Core2Quad. I sure hope this works out. What really bothers me is that I've now bought almost all the components necessary to build a complete new system, and I've built an OLD system. I might as well have bought cutting edge hardware, if I had known that I was going to buy all the main pieces anew.
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Entered: 1/11/2010 4:23:00 PM
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Modified: 1/11/2010 4:26:00 PM
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January 7, 2010 - Theory - Definition vs the Colloquialisms
I was in a discussion with one of my coworkers about political affiliation and I was expressing my consternation that I am predominantly a conservative person, but find myself in an incompatible position with the republican party on many topics. I am generally a political absentee -- skipping the entire political process most years. As an example, I cited separation of church and state -- something that Republicans seem to disagree rather strongly with. My coworker said that he thought the topic was blown completely out of proportion, which is something that I somewhat agree with. He mentioned that in his conservative high school, they respectfully and equally discussed both "theories" of evolution and creationism. This irked the crap out of me, because the ensuing conversation highlighted a number of things. Firstly, the whole "separation of church and state" thing had broken down in his education. Secondly, the consequence is that my friend doesn't understand what a theory is, at all. And thirdly that his impression of scientific theories -- like the big bang and evolution -- is that they are just ideas, and not supported or supportable by evidence and experimentation. In non-scientific and non-mathematical circles, a "theory" is colloquially defined as "an idea." In this colloquialism, any idea can be a theory and there are no rules, constraints, or qualifications needed in order for the theory to exist. This is the definition of the word "theory" as used in creationism. In formal systems of logic, induction, and deduction -- the world where a word like "theory" was needed, created, and formalized -- the word has a far more specific meaning. A theory is an idea that adheres to systems of logic and deduction. It is predictive in nature. It is falsifiable. And it has already been tested by repeated experimentation. In scientific parlance, a theory is as close to "fact" as any piece of inductive logic can ever aspire. Sadly, many people -- under the influence of religion -- don't understand that a theory is scientifically equivalent to a fact for as long as it is considered valid.
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Entered: 1/7/2010 3:59:00 PM
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Modified: 1/7/2010 4:02:00 PM
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January 6, 2010 - Business Requirements
I was in a conversation with a coworker about a business requirements document. The document was 5 pages long, and consisted of a title page, a table of contents page, a document metadata page (who wrote it, date, audience, revision history), a brief introduction, literally three sentances describing the business requirements, and a page with a list of "calculations" -- a list of numbers that differentiated bad values from good ones. He had not written the document, and his business analyst seems to be new to the role. He felt that it didn't contain enough information and asked me what else should be in there. It reminded me of a series of conversations that I had with developers at my previous company. In Oxy, most of the developers were responsible for creating their own business requirements, and there was a time when we went through a lot of contractors who weren't used to doing such things for themselves. After watching a few of them flounder and develop severely crippled applications, I put together the following rules for any data-enabled system: 1. Each piece of data should have a tool that searches for it. 2. Each type of data should have a tool that allows for adding new data. 3. Each type of data should have a tool that allows for editing the data. 4. Each type of data should have a tool that allows for deleting the data. 5. Security should be considered for each tool (action) and considered on a record-by-record basis. 6. Almost every system requires some level of reporting. A "good enough" search tool sometimes replaces this. 7. Consider how the user will navigate the application to find these tools. (a reporting dashboard? An admin section?) All of these basic rules apply to almost every system, and when they don't explicitly apply, they should at least be considered. Navigate, Add, Edit, Delete, Search, Report, & Security. In my current coworker's case, the data comes from an external system in a feed, so he didn't feel that add/edit/delete applied to his system. I asked him if the feed ever included new data. Yes. I asked him if the feed ever included old data that had been altered in some way. Yes. I asked him if the feed ever removed records. Yes. Are there any special considerations that need to be made when these three events occur? Yes. Admittedly, this isn't the same as developing add/edit/delete tools, and my rule is stretched quite a bit when I try to apply it here, but the exercise is similar: How will the data change and what needs to be done to make everything work? Business requirements -- and the skill of Business Analysis -- encompasses a lot more than just thinking through these few questions, and I don't mean to censor or trivialize the skill. But for a person new to the role, and especially a person who is performing several roles and isn't specialized in this one, these points should be a good place to start.
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Entered: 1/6/2010 11:34:00 AM
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Modified: 1/6/2010 11:36:00 AM
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Recently Read Books
Rob Grant Colony
Stephanie Meyer The Host
William Gibson Neuromancer (re-read)
John Hemry
(as Jack Campbell) The Lost Fleet Series: (#6) Victorious
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| www.humanmetrics.com |
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My Myers-Briggs Type: INTP
Introverted 56%
Intuitive 33%
Thinking 22%
Perceiving 56%
INTP types are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who enjoy spending long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are curious about systems and how things work. INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. |
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